Beauty and Perception

There are several reasons why I feel it has become necessary for myself  to write about beauty and perception. Firstly, probably the most obvious reason, that I experience the day-to-day pressures of a woman who is unwillingly and unfortunately conscious of how I look and how I am perceived physically. This is not to say that I feel physical beauty is of value in my life, just in that it is something that feels impossible to escape from. Secondly, that I am studying Feminist Literature for my A2 Coursework and these topics are frequently observed. Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, that I have recently subscribed to a channel on YouTube called "Soul Pancake" that discusses all sorts of topics including religion, children's perspective of the world, love, happiness...etc. There is a particular programme called "That's What She Said", which discusses things like "Beauty and Self-image", "Perception and Confidence", or "Ageing and Death." It reminded me of how subjective beauty is, and how we are perceived, actually is.... and because this is such a subjective experience, it is often said that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." In the videos, particularly the first two, the women discuss several things that I'd like you to think about (men and women alike).

How do you want to be perceived?

I've thought about this myself and also made a point of asking others my age, both male and female. There were all sorts of responses, for women, the most popular were "strong-willed" and "nice", amongst others such as "unique", "a mystery" and even "a teacher." What surprised me most was how most of the responses were non-physical. Although I'm sure we'd all like to be seen as "pretty", "beautiful" or "sexy", this doesn't seem to be priority when we think about how we would like others to view us. For men, there were no responses that suggested the importance of physical perception in themselves. Like women, the most popular answer was "nice", with a close second being "himself". A man wants to be viewed as he is. Perhaps in this way, men are less complicated than women, with less men trying to be something that they are not. It is undeniable that the importance of physical beauty in society is paramount, however, I get the feeling it is also unwelcome a lot more than we might think.

When do you feel most beautiful?

This is the more difficult question to answer it seems. After a lot of thought on this, I decided that I feel most beautiful when I realise I am one with nature, when I smile or when I laugh...when I catch someone looking at me. The most popular answer in women was "when complimented" (be that physically or in any other way). Simply being complimented wasn't enough for some women though, they wanted to know "why he thought she was beautiful" or "why he loved her". Some women felt most beautiful when "natural" or "after a shower", and this also appeared in some men's answers. Interestingly, one male said "I feel most beautiful when it is clear that I am viewed in the way I wanted to be perceived." Another interesting response was "When I have a surge of energy or adrenalin...like a personal revelation."  I honestly preferred the men's responses, because when comparing, it is clear that men feel best in a way that we could say is more "natural" and less "physical". Ironically, the man has set the criteria of beauty for women, and a woman simply aggravates this physical importance by not only accepting this idea of beauty but also encouraging it in the way she dresses and changes herself. Perhaps this is because a man's image is not as important as a woman's in society. (I am not denying that men have a tough time too)

Now I'd like to discuss a film that deals with perception and beauty. It's a comedy I watched the other day called "Shallow Hal". It's not a great film but not bad either...Jack Black stars. Hal is, as the title suggests, a shallow male who only seeks women's looks. His life contains a series of brief and meaningless relationships, until one day he is trapped in a lift with a self-help guru who hypnotises him to only look for the inner beauty in women. Soon, Hal begins to have extra-ordinary success with women, in particular a woman named Rosemary. The film plays with point of view shots to show us that Rosemary's actual weight is 140 Kg, but to Hal, all he can see is a slender woman, who is also a lovely person. The trailer prattles on about how Hal now sees only the inner beauty in women. No he doesn't. When he looks at an overweight woman and instead sees her as thin women, he's not seeing her inner beauty. What he is seeing however, is a typical tall, thin model type woman....which in some ways is more insulting than if he saw her as she really is and instantly rejected her.

Lastly, I'd just like to remind you that what we want to be seen in ourselves, many others will also want to see in themselves. Before you "judge a book by its cover", think about how that person wants to be viewed, and also think about what you think should be valued more in society. We forget that we make society, and the more people that change ideas of perception and beauty in their minds, the more likely these important things will be valued.

Until next time,

Goodbye.